First Conversation!

Here I am, writing you fresh off of my meeting with Bayan, my assigned IEP conversation partner! Just like everyone else, I had absolutely no idea what this person would be like going into the meeting. We had only exchanged a few emails prior to our meeting, and I honestly wasn’t even sure whether Bayan was a male or female name. But the person in the emails seemed friendly and eager to meet, telling me that the opportunity to converse with a native English speaker was much needed.

I arrived at Union Grounds after getting out of class and waiting anxiously. I emailed her where I was sitting and what I was wearing, and she answered telling me she would be in a grey hijab. We spotted each other immediately and got right to talking. It turns out she is SO nice, and talking to her was really easy. She has been here for almost a year and her English is quite good. She told me several times she was not really confident in her English speaking skills, but after speaking with her, I ensured her that the lack of confidence was unnecessary. Bayan was proficient in describing things and holding a conversation about any topic (and I think we did touch on just about every topic possible). There were only a few times when she stumbled over pronunciation or couldn’t think of a word, but together we were able to figure it out each time. The conversation moved smoothly, even as we jumped around from topic to topic.

We discussed our families first. She is from Saudi Arabia and has five sisters and three brothers!! This is a stark difference to my only child-dom. She has a sibling in Utah, and one of her brothers is also here at TCU studying English. Plus, her husband came to Fort Worth to join her in August (she is 25), so she is not completely separated from her family. However, she hasn’t been home once since she got here, and I can’t imagine being separated from my parents and family for that long! We bonded over our distaste for cold weather and our relief that it’s been warming up.

In fact, we found that we had quite a few similar tastes and opinions, even coming from such different backgrounds and places. We both share a love of writing and languages. After completing the Intensive English Program, she hopes to be accepted into TCU as a journalism major and eventually she wants to learn Spanish, too. We also discussed music and I told her that I can play a little bit of piano and ukulele. She didn’t know what a ukulele was, so I looked up a photo and showed her. Then she told me about a popular instrument called an oud, and I listened to a couple of songs played by one. It is somewhat similar to a guitar and has a beautiful and unique sound. We agreed that music is like a whole other language that both of us wish we knew.

It was fascinating to discuss different cultures and religions as well. She explained that she likes the freedom Americans have to practice any religion we want, and on one street you can find a church, a temple, a mosque, and a bar. I thought that was absolutely hilarious and so true. She explained that in Saudi Arabia, this is not at all the case. The only religion people are allowed to practice there is Islam. She loves and respects her religion, but doesn’t like the forced aspect of it at home. However, she doesn’t see herself wanting to stay in America. She is still looking for just the right place where she belongs, and wants to continue traveling both in the United States and other countries as well.

After a while of talking, she asked if I wanted anything to drink. I said no thanks, but she insisted that in her home country, it would be customary to let her buy me something, so I finally conceded. It was such a sweet gesture of her, and I certainly enjoyed my green tea. We continued our discussion for a while after that.

When I finally looked at the time, I was shocked! We had been talking for an hour and a half! It had certainly not felt like that long. We decided to call it a day and already made a plan to meet at the same time next week. I am really happy that I was paired with Bayan. She is an incredibly sweet woman, and I hope our conversations can help bring her the confidence she deserves to have in her English speaking abilities.

Just Kidding? Maybe Not.

I love laughing. It is truly one of my favorite things to do, and there are few times when I feel happier than when I find myself laughing so hard that I can’t breathe. You know the kind of laughter I’m talking about, where your face gets all red and you cease to make noise aside from the occasional desperate gasp for air. And that brief moment of panic when you actually aren’t sure that you will survive this uncontrollable fit of merriment. The kind of laughing that makes your abs ache so much that you could swear that you just came from an intense workout at the gym. I live for all of that.

I also laugh incredibly easily, I’m not quickly offended, and I’m wholly sarcastic. So, I often don’t think about all of the negative things that can come out of humor and laughing. However, our discussions about the negative side of comedy have really gotten me thinking about just how terrible and hurtful it can be, aside from the joyous feelings.

I have always been a firm believer in the severity of a sin of omission, like the tacit approval we discussed in class. Witnessing something bad happen and doing nothing about it is nearly as bad as actually committing the offense. However, I also strongly try to avoid conflict. That’s how I’ve come up with my method of politely making someone feel uncomfortable, rather than calling them out. It may seem strange, but it’s more effective than you might think.

For example, let’s say I am around a group of friends and someone talks about how retarded that class assignment was. Let’s get this straight: that is my least favorite word in the English language. But instead of getting in the person’s face about it or going on a rant about why it’s wrong to say (because I am pretty sure it will go in one ear and out the other), I respond more simply. “Well, I don’t use that word, I don’t like it. But I agree that I didn’t like writing that paper.” You’d be amazed at how something as simple as that can take people aback. I may not have stopped their use of it forever, but I know that when they are around me, they will think consciously about it. It’s a start at least.

I’ve never really considered the same tactic, however, with jokes. This is probably because a lot of the time, I am teasing my friends and they are teasing me back. I don’t consider though just how quickly that ‘joking’ can get out of hand and really hurt someone, especially when it’s something that is brought up time and time again. Certain things are only funny for so long. After a while, bringing up that time you tripped up the stairs in front of an entire fraternity freshman year just gets old.

When the joke is truly offensive, the novelty has an even shorter expiration date, and you never know what someone has experienced or could currently be going through.  

I am happy we discussed the implications of negative humor, because as a person who tries vehemently to protect other people’s feelings, it never really occurred to me that my ‘joking’ words could be just as immoral as malicious words.

That's Pretty Funny…Isn't It?

I laugh extremely easily. I find that I laugh the most at things I understand and that I can relate to. Here are some examples.

-I just watched a film where a man’s wife is brutally murdered by a serial killer and his son is left physically disabled. In a twisted turn of events his son is kidnapped and he has to chase the kidnapper thousands of miles with the help of a mentally unstable woman.

-What was the movie called?

-Finding Nemo.

I laugh at this because it is clever and I have a strong personal connection with Disney (which is totally normal for a twenty-year-old, right?)

My life is a romantic comedy minus the romance and just me laughing at my own jokes.

I laughed really hard at that one because it almost perfectly describes my life (yeah okay I laugh at my own jokes, committing and ultimate social faux pas, but so be it. I think I'm hilarious).

Then I just think these are all darn clever, and that's why I laugh at them. 

I was addicted to the Hokey Pokey…

But I turned myself around


-Want to hear a potassium joke?

-K

And finally, a couple of videos that bring tears to my eyes. Tears of laughter, of course.

http://www.youtube.com/watch/?v=kHypjOA40yY

I can sit and watch this video alone time after time and laugh at every single viewing. Not only is it a relief to see other people besides me falling (Superiority Theory), but they are doing it on live TV and trying to stay professional throughout.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rPY4yOmNw7w

Like I said, when I see other people laughing, I can't help but laugh. Especially since a lot of what is in this video are things I experience regularly.

Thank you for reading and watching, I hope you were able to get a good giggle or two in.