Just Kidding? Maybe Not.

I love laughing. It is truly one of my favorite things to do, and there are few times when I feel happier than when I find myself laughing so hard that I can’t breathe. You know the kind of laughter I’m talking about, where your face gets all red and you cease to make noise aside from the occasional desperate gasp for air. And that brief moment of panic when you actually aren’t sure that you will survive this uncontrollable fit of merriment. The kind of laughing that makes your abs ache so much that you could swear that you just came from an intense workout at the gym. I live for all of that.

I also laugh incredibly easily, I’m not quickly offended, and I’m wholly sarcastic. So, I often don’t think about all of the negative things that can come out of humor and laughing. However, our discussions about the negative side of comedy have really gotten me thinking about just how terrible and hurtful it can be, aside from the joyous feelings.

I have always been a firm believer in the severity of a sin of omission, like the tacit approval we discussed in class. Witnessing something bad happen and doing nothing about it is nearly as bad as actually committing the offense. However, I also strongly try to avoid conflict. That’s how I’ve come up with my method of politely making someone feel uncomfortable, rather than calling them out. It may seem strange, but it’s more effective than you might think.

For example, let’s say I am around a group of friends and someone talks about how retarded that class assignment was. Let’s get this straight: that is my least favorite word in the English language. But instead of getting in the person’s face about it or going on a rant about why it’s wrong to say (because I am pretty sure it will go in one ear and out the other), I respond more simply. “Well, I don’t use that word, I don’t like it. But I agree that I didn’t like writing that paper.” You’d be amazed at how something as simple as that can take people aback. I may not have stopped their use of it forever, but I know that when they are around me, they will think consciously about it. It’s a start at least.

I’ve never really considered the same tactic, however, with jokes. This is probably because a lot of the time, I am teasing my friends and they are teasing me back. I don’t consider though just how quickly that ‘joking’ can get out of hand and really hurt someone, especially when it’s something that is brought up time and time again. Certain things are only funny for so long. After a while, bringing up that time you tripped up the stairs in front of an entire fraternity freshman year just gets old.

When the joke is truly offensive, the novelty has an even shorter expiration date, and you never know what someone has experienced or could currently be going through.  

I am happy we discussed the implications of negative humor, because as a person who tries vehemently to protect other people’s feelings, it never really occurred to me that my ‘joking’ words could be just as immoral as malicious words.