Conversation 6!

Last week I experienced the best meeting I have had with Bayan yet! When we met up at the BLUU I was really hungry, so I decided to get a muffin. I asked if she wanted one too, and she said that she was trying a five-day vegan detox diet! Something like that takes a lot of commitment, and today was already her fourth day, which is super impressive. She said it’s been difficult, especially since I know she shares my love of food and affinity for sweets, but she is feeling really good. Right off the bat I was impressed (as if I ever haven’t been impressed by her), because something like that takes a lot of determination! She also told me that she had finally gotten a good score on the test she needs to gain admission into graduate school. I can tell it gave her a great confidence boost, which I was thrilled to see, because that’s what I’ve been trying to help her with. She said she is still working on her application, although the deadline is fast approaching. She told me she might wait and apply next year. Bayan is also considering Arizona State University, because she likes the idea of it. She and I also share a liking of warm weather! However, until then, we discussed our summer plans. After finals, her summer IEP classes begin immediately. Then, she will get to go home for the month of July. She hasn’t been home since last March. Not only will she get to see her family, but it so happens that July is the month of Ramadan this year, which is a family-oriented time. I’m so happy for her that she gets to do that!

Discussing Ramadan got us into a whole discussion about religion, which was incredibly engaging. We talked about how differently religion is treated in different countries. I told her about what I have learned this year about banned books. There are a lot in America. However, in France, no books are ever banned. There is no subject that’s off the table. In Saudi Arabia, though, like the US, books are often banned. Bayan said it’s generally for religious content. Religious factions other than strict Islam are not allowed there. There isn’t a penalty for practicing another religion, but there are no churches or temples for any other religion, so they can’t be practiced in a community setting. She says she feels bad for people from other places, because they can’t openly express their beliefs. Bayan and I both agree that all the riffs between various religions somewhat undermine their whole purpose. Judaism, Christianity, and Islam are all stemmed off similar core beliefs, and they essentially worship the same God. Even their primary books say a lot of the same things. Another reason she doesn’t like the forced aspect of religion in Saudi Arabia is that it can sometimes make people follow Islam for the wrong reasons. She said she continues to follow it here because she believes in it, not because she is obligated to, and she likes that better.

Another thing we discussed was Bayan’s husband. Sometimes it sounds to me like they don’t always get along so well. She thought about studying business at one point, and he told her she wasn’t strong enough for that, so she abandoned the thought. She also tells me about how he is not overwhelmingly willing to teach her to drive, even though he doesn’t like having to take her everywhere. However, the side of him that I didn’t know is that he has quite the story. He studied in multiple countries, going to Scotland and New Zealand before returning to Saudi Arabia to take care of his father before he passed away. There he met and married Bayan, and finally followed her here. They will follow each other to wherever they go next as they continue on with their studies.

I was so happy to hear Bayan sounding more confident than I have heard her sound all semester. She said the thing she worries about now is getting her resume together, which I offered to help her with. I have so enjoyed getting to know this beautiful woman over the past few months, and I think I have learned as much from her, if not more, than she learned from me. I’m so thrilled that I got the opportunity to meet someone outside of my usual circle, because it opened my eyes to a lot of things. I wish Bayan all the luck in the future, and I truly hope that she and I will keep in touch, whether she continues her studies at TCU or elsewhere.